Story 17 - Ripple Effect of Retreats: Part 2
by Mike McDonald, Lakeview Project, 1984
“Before I can sell John Jones what John Jones buys, I have to begin to see John Jones through John Jones’ eyes.”
This NHRI story is a unique “walk back in time” to discuss the types of retreats. As a member of Lakeview Project in 1981-1984, I am revisiting a typical, weekly project meeting of the senior counselors (SC). We are planning our overnight retreat to be held with our junior counselors (JC) in October, 1983 at West Point. Chip Winter is the co-chair with Betsy Simmons. We will hold a retreat at his parent’s home and the Lutheran Church where Chip’s dad serves as the pastor. This was a particularly important time because several of us were seniors; we knew that this would be the last overnighter with our mentees. We wanted it to be special and apply core, NHRI principles.
We typically met 8-9 PM each Wednesday at a variety of places. At each session, we discussed at least one principle such as the John Jones parable and reflected on the application in the 1-1s with our JCs. Our weekly meetings set the stage for Fall and Spring Retreats. The overnight retreats became our special time to synthesize our progress and main goals while having a great time with many laughs.
Just imagine 24+ persons in a church and parsonage with the majority being elementary students on a Saturday morning in 1983. We had to be creative keeping their attention after a short night of sleep. Many of the kids, grades 2-6 knew one another and we tried to “couple” two JCs and two SCs in weekly activities as well as at the Retreat so we developed bonds beyond the 1-1s. At our overnights, we shifted small-groups throughout the sessions while working through hot-buttons, discussing the self-fulfilling prophecy and carving pumpkins. The 1 1/2 days went fast. We returned by van—exhausted but primed to take the next, generative steps.
“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them become what they are capable of becoming.”
Each Spring, we held a retreat just for the senior counselors. These are some of the pictures from March, 1983 at the home of Greg Mueller’s mom (Martha) on the Capitol Beach Lake directly north of the Lakeview Elementary School (ES). The Roper Elementary School replaced it.
Cherie Keast (tent.) and Greg Mueller
Top Row—left to right—Mary Jo McGrath, Betsy Simmons; Middle Row--Jean Moon (tent.), Suzanne Wilder, Cherie Keast (tent.); Bottom Row—Greg Behm, Megan Hamsa, Greg Mueller
Megan Hamsa and Greg
These are two, additional different perspectives of NHRI retreats which involved TA’s, project leaders, JCs and SCs.
“To me, the overnight retreat was the best part of the year. I was in the Family project so that meant that all counselors, counselees and their parents would get together. We would spend an evening and the next morning exploring hot buttons and working on the various concepts that we learned in Ag Comm 311 (the counselors’ class that was taught by Dr. Dodge) and the great TAs.
We ate a lot Val’s pizza, OJ and of course donuts for breakfast. One of my most memorable times was at the YMCA North. Everyone camped out in sleeping bags on the gym floor. It was awesome to spend time with so many positive people including several of my best friends and just feel the positive energy in the room.
My other favorite memory of overnight retreats was as a Project Advisor when I was on the NHRI staff. A person donated a small pink cabin to NHRI that was located at Tuxedo Park in Crete, Nebraska. It needed a new roof so Mark Davidson, Todd Lavigne and I went to Crete and reroofed the place so it would not leak during retreats. I remember squeezing 12-14 counselors and 12-14 counselees into a small cabin with one restroom and a quasi-functioning furnace. A “haunted” cornfield was next door and we spent much time in trust and empathy exercises that led to great bonding…not to mention a lot of hot chocolate being consumed and marshmallows being roasted. It was a great experience to develop generative, young persons and reinvest in others!”
“Unfortunately, we never had the opportunity to do overnight retreats when I was in the Teenage project. We had a few afternoon/evening retreats usually in the basement of 501. My best memories were the junior counselors eventually opening up and becoming good friends with their peer junior counselors. Everyone became more comfortable in sharing, being themselves, and revealing their own personal strengths. It was fun to watch everyone grow through the program together.
It is interesting reflecting back and seeing the similarities of NHRI with being a recruitment chair, pledge educator, a chief resident, and an upper-level fellow during training. The time and commitment you put into the junior counselors, freshman, interns—-fosters an environment for them to develop as individuals and leaders. My ultimate conclusion is that I gained the most from all of these interactions. The principles of NHRI have made me a better counselor, fraternity brother, physician, and father. ”
“At all times in our lives, we must have at least one person...a key person who cares about us…someone we care for ourselves.”